Wow! That Surprised Me

Today I went to an open house for a graduate program I probably shouldn't apply to. The open house confirmed this. The thing is that now I feel a little lost as this is what I was hoping would kind of save me... If in doubt go back to school.

The thing is what I did afterward is call a friend and vented about everything. What surprised me is the friend that I called. It wasn't my college roommate or my oldest college friend. It was my closest NYC friend. I don't know how it happened, but I have a new best friend. I have a new friend that is my go to friend. It is like the last thing that kept me from being completely NYC is gone. It was strange, but as it hit me that I didn't call one of the other two but called my new friend I started to cry. I don't know why. It is like I'm closing a chapter on my life. It is happening now. It has been happening for the past few month and today just confirmed this. I am not my old self. I am not the person who came her 3 years ago. I am who I wanted to be, but not 100% complete. Are we ever? I'm still growing, but I'm less afraid of it. I'm less afraid of being alone. I'm sure I can muddle through any of my problems and I'm sure I will figure it all out.

That being said I am not moving to California. I have been letting this job keep me from doing things for myself. I have kept it because I have been afraid of starting out on a new career and failing again. I have to. I can't hide behind I need a job. I do need a job but I need to have something that grows with me. I guess tonight surprised me for lots of reasons and most of all I'm just scared because I'm realizing all of these things and I'm terrified of what is going to come next.

Personal Statment

Who wants to write a personal statement for me that will convince my favorite museum to hire me as an educational intern. It is a ten month paid internship with health benefits. Hopefully leading to a job at the same museum. I haven't written a personal statement in 5 years. Where do you begin?

I want to move to....

Ireland. I want to move far away and live in a country where everything is a little similar but totally different. I want to fall in love with some guy who has an accent and a different idea of what macho is. I want to be Irish. I just don't know how to get there.

France, though part of me despises this language. I want to be swept off my feet in a language I don't understand at all. I want to live in a little village in the french Alps and learn french and eat baguettes. I want to be Belle from "Beauty and the Beast".

I want to move half way around the world. Where my only problems seems to be that I am in a new place and I don't know anyone.

I miss adventure. I have settled into a life I don't want to be in and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm shocked that in one month I'll be 27 and that in 3 years I'm going to be 30. I just have to... I don't know and usually that means I just have to move. I must shake things up. The question is how.