Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Someone Unforgettable

I have lots to write as normal but know idea what to say. I am having an amazing week or weeks I should say. I think I do see a light at the end of the extremely large dark tunnel, which is nice. I think getting away from trying to not be single is working wonders. I ran my fast mile ever 8:38. Never thought I would write that and in 7 weeks I am suppose to be even faster then this! Um what? This former fat girl never thought I would be running a mile in under like 15 minutes.

Ok so what prompted this blog about nothing was a match.com commercial. As you all may know I was on match once upon a time. I hate dating websites. I think they make meeting people and falling in love a business and there is just something impersonal but really personal about meeting someone online. The commercial I just saw says meet someone unforgettable. Finally a commercial I can get behind for match I did meet someone unforgettable. Oh well at least I am doing amazing things even if I can't forget.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Want A Love Story

Recently I have been pondering love stories. I would love to have one like Harry and Sally or Sleepless in Seattle. Yes, these are Hollywood versions of love, but being the romantic I am I 100% believe in these stories. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight (being that I want a when harry meet sally story I think love surprises us) but I do believe in a love story.

Everyone I know who is in a lasting loving marriage has a love story. Some are mundane, but when they tell you how they meet it sounds magical. Some are magical and make you realize that the movies have nothing on real life love and the trials and tribulations people go through to find it. My parents for example, both had there hearts smashed in their first marriages. My mother had all but given up on finding someone to spend her life with; when my stepfather came along professing his love she all but threw him out of our house. He persisted and pursued her for a year. Working on himself and getting to know my mother and her kids and won a place in all of our hearts. For what I put him through he should win a meddle. Then there is my grandmother whose spouse, my grandfather, who recently passed away. Their how they meet story isn't anything special but their love story their life together and the family they created out of their love story is something spectacular. So criticize the romantics all you want, but never doubt that there are amazing love stories out there. That is what I want and that is what you should want too.

My Break From Reality

I had a wonderful week off in what I think is the most gorgeous part of the United States. Granted I have not traveled that extensively in the US and I got to go be spoiled by my family, so I may be biased. On this vacation though I decided to not think to much about my real life. The one back in New York where I often feel like I'm rowing up stream without a paddle. Everyone asked me about my marathon training and fundraising and all that jazz and I was happy to talk about it. However, I found myself wanting to cry a lot towards the end of this vacation. I don't know if it was because my break from reality was over and I really need to face the fact that I need to make some drastic changes in my life or because my mom was playing Neil Diamond and Coldplay and every song reminded me of how utterly alone I am and how for some reason I repel the boys I like.

I'm not one for wallowing. I generally pick myself up and say oh well now what or well if it was meant to be it would have been. I have gone through lots and lots of stuff in my 26 years and have never wallowed. I don't think I'm necessarily wallowing now. I mean I have a plan and am living my life, but still seem so stuck and no matter what I do my mind won't shift gears. I come home and I just feel so useless. I think it is because I am not doing anything I find particularly awesome. I don't mean just with a job but with life in general. I just have no drive or anything that compels me to do anything at the moment. I guess my break from reality just confirmed this for me. So, hopefully over the next few months my reality turns into one I don't want a break from. I feel it happening. It is right there if only I could grab hold, but it just keeps slipping right through my fingers. Hopefully, I get strong enough so that I can hold on a little tighter and really fight for what makes me happy and say the heck with all the rest.