Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Perfect Song

This pretty much describes my state of mind. Don't you love when you find songs like that?

Here are the lyrics:

Remember last summer when we had the chance
To find each other, start making romance
But it didn't come off because you found another
Without one hand of a clock, what good is the other?

And I can't find no true love, oh baby, it's so hard
And I still think about you every time I'm riding in my car

So I went to the place where everybody hangs out
To see what everybody was talking about
And over in a corner all alone with you
Was a boy from last summer singing songs to you

And he can't sing like I can sing, oh, it's so hard
And I still think about you every time I'm riding in my car

When I'm home alone I can think of other things to do
But when I'm rolling in forward motion I think about only you

It's been a year and a day since I talked to you
I don't know how I made it, but I sure have been blue
And every time I think about what might have been
I jump in my car and start riding again

And I can't find no true love, oh baby, it's so hard
And I still think about you every time I'm riding in my car

And I can't find no true love, oh baby, it's so hard
And I still think about you every time I'm riding in my car

Monday, April 26, 2010

Utter Fail

There is something I utterly and horribly fail at. This would be internet dating. I am not able to woo people online. I don't have time to email. I don't get any emails. I get a ton of winks. However, I just think winks are lame. I'm sick of all the winks and I'm rejected in real life enough. I guess this is why I don't do online dating. I would like to go on lots of dates. Would someone please give me lessons on how this online dating things works.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Running in the Rain

I finished my second half marathon today. It was rainy and fun, but not as much fun as I usually have running. I mean I totally tweaked my knee on Wednesday and that was not so fun. I ran 10 miles great and then I just well... I don't know. I finished in a respectable time 2:15:28 (pretty good since I walked a bit). Slower then I would have liked, but I finished and have a medal and will be signing up for it again next year. I'm on to my next race which I need to find.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Enough With the Winks

So... I joined again. I think I mentioned this. I'm not entirely sure why but I am so sick of all the winks I get. I'm sorry I'm not going to email you. Grow some balls and make the first move (a wink is not a move imo). Also winks are free. I'm not going to waste my time emailing someone if I'm not sure they don't pay for an account. I know it's putting yourself out there the whole email thing, but you are on a online freaking dating site. Am I wrong to think this...

Guess who is at home on the couch this Saturday night. I'm trying to be good since I'm running 13.1 miles tomorrow in the rain and things are just getting to me.

Have You Ever...

Wanted to write to someone the absolute truth of everything. To just get your feelings out there to the actual person. Knowing full well that they are never going to email you back because they have already written you off as a crazy desperate person, though you are none of these things. Part of you wants to write because you know you are not and you want to tell them this, but know writing this proves you are. There is no future here. Why is it worth pursuing? However, there is just a little part of you that goes well what if... Your life could be a movie. Why not? I blame Lifetime... I'm only watching realistic depressing movies from now on.

I'm not going to do anything as crazy as what I'm writing (at least as long as I'm sober and I have safety measures to make sure no drunken email/text get sent). Blogging I guess is out there enough. Please someone save me from myself.

Thank God marathon training starts in a week! ;)

Half Marathon Number 2

I'm running my second half marathon tomorrow. I was thinking today on why I started running this. It's funny because what it comes down to is rejection and a feeling of being lost. Running gave something back to me and when I feel myself losing it all over again I often see it is because I haven't been running. I need to run at least 15-20 miles to keep my sanity in tack. That isn't really all that much it is about 3 4 mile runs and a long run on the weekend. Ideally I'm running 25-30 miles a week.

I signed up for this half marathon because I have registered for a marathon in October and needed something to get me going again. It is so nice to be back out running and as perdicted my life seems to be clicking back into place again. I really shouldn't be surprised by this. It isn't all that unexpected.

Anyways it's nice to see that out of rejection and total lack of direction some good things do come.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sometimes I Wonder

I recently just rejoined a couple dating sites. I'm not sure why. I don't really like dating sites. I feel like they are so personal and yet utterly impersonal. I have never had any luck and am still (yes, still) hung up on a guy I dated from one of them for a couple months a year ago. I don't know why I keep putting myself out there. It just sucks. I'm so tired of trying and trying and getting rejected and told I'm just not good enough. I got enough of this when I was younger. I wish that I could get a more honest answer. At least when I was younger I had constructive criticism instead of "I'm just not ready for this" and weeks later seeing said guy with a new girlfriend. I have thick skin tell me the truth.

Well, said guy is now back on Match and I think we can take one guess at what he is looking for on there. I am just so sick of this liking him and feeling like well we are suppose to be together. Ugh, I so do not mean that but still there is something I don't really know how to describe. I'm sorry this makes no sense and I hate that I sound like a cheesy girl. I hate that this makes no sense what so ever and it makes me look like some crazy desperate girl. I hate that I keep making a fool out of myself because of him. I've liked guys before that I have known for a lot longer, but well it doesn't really matter now does it.

Anyways, I'm sorry I wrote this post, but it has been on my mind. Thanks for listening.

P.S I know move on to bigger and better things. I know that is logical and what I am suppose to be doing, but well for some reason I just can't.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I Had Something to Share

I totally had something to write in this blog today. It was going to be meaningful and super well written. However, I completely forgot what it was I was going to share. Here's hoping it comes back to me and I become a literary genius this week :)

On another note I have gotten a few blogging awards over the year of blogging and I haven't really passed these on. It isn't because I don't love all my blogging friends I just haven't sat down and thought about what I want to award the people I don't know but mean the world to me. If it wasn't for this blog I think I may well still be in the funk I was in last April. So, here is a big thanks to all you out there that cheer me on. You mean the world to me!

Looking for a Beginning

I have something that I want to post, but I'm not sure I really want to post it. I kind of feel a little foolish even thinking about doing this, so until I decide what I'm going to do and see what happens if I do it I'm just going to keep mum about it. Super surprising because I'm a blabber mouth on the internet and in person. We'll see how long this last.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Give It Another Go

Quick update. Things are kind of still going on with Austrian Guy, but tonight I took the plunge and reactivated my Okcupid profile. I hate online dating, but I figured why not. We'll see what happens this time around. I have zero expectations, but really I need more then flirty text messages when we are both bored... In a perfect world I live in DC and Austrian Guy is over his ex and realizes how awesome I am. Perhaps the perfect world will happen, but until then I have to keep my options open because well this isn't a perfect world...

Sunday, April 11, 2010


People are so talented. I am so impressed by everyone's creativity and their creativity makes me feel less alone. I wish I could express myself the way some others do. Check this site out and click around on where the images come from. It is a great way to spend a few hours :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Saga Continues

I have been in this um relationship thingy with the Austrian Boy. I texted him like a week and half ago and we have pretty much texted something everyday since then. I've tried to no text and then he just sends me something random. I had an awful day yesterday and sent him a text that was not typical of me. Then sent and apology because I felt bad for sending him such a downer text. I vowed I wouldn't text till his birthday this week. However he had other plans, the first thing he did when he got out of work was text me to see if my day was better. I was surprised because I figured if I didn't text him he wouldn't text me.

The question is what the heck are we doing? This is a strange relationship and I'm not even sure what is really going on here. It's better then nothing, right? As I write this we are having one of our hour long texting sessions. :)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

You Know

It was a strange weekend and I wish I was anywhere but here.