What I Want

I constantly say that I am done with dating. That is not true I am not done with dating what I am done with is how we date today. I want to be courted. I want what my grandparents and my mom and stepfather have. I don't think this is old fashioned. I don't think it is a crazy thing to ask for. I think that it is something that all people should want. It is a little mission of mine to bring back dating. Real dating where the people are chaste and it makes the coming together all that more great.

This being said I know I am not going to find my future guy online. I have learned this. I am not going to meet him at a bar either. I should say the online thing I'm sure about. I haven't really ruled out the bar thing. I just know that I would like to meet someone at some point in an organic way. In a way where they actually have to talk to me. Where when they have had enough of me or I've had enough of them we know we have to have a conversation not an email or a text dismissing the other person. I want an organic relationship one that happens one that is not forced one that I fall into. I am not pursuing anyone at the moment. I want to meet my best friend and if we start as friends even better. I don't want to start dating someone because that is what we are suppose to do.

I had this long talk with a friend last night and she kept saying "You so want a boyfriend." I kept saying "No, I don't so want a boyfriend." It is just something everyone talks about all the time. My girlfriends and I are constantly talking about the latest guy. I don't know how to change this. It is like the pursuit of getting a guy is what we have become. It is rather tedious. I've learned that it really isn't worth talking this all out all the time. Rather it is nice to just know what you want and be you. Then just live it. I'm working on it and trusting that what is suppose to happen will happen.

Life is a learning experience and it is a fun ride. I make mistakes but I learn from them and I'm making a home for myself here in the city finally. It's nice to feel like I am finally figuring things out and nice to start feeling at home in my own skin. This is what I'm learning.

Getting On With It

Well if you follow me on Twitter megslife1 you know that I am taking a break from dating. I'm not sure if I can say that this is 100% true. What I am doing is not doing online dating anymore. I tried it once and then stopped and then did that over and over again about a billion times. There are things some people are good at and other people are not. I am no good at online dating. I don't know if it is my pictures or my profile, but I get nary (I always wanted to use that word) a email or a response to my email. I don't know why. I don't know if I perhaps exude my lack of knowing how to date or be in a relationship in my profile or my lack of confidence in what I am doing comes across. I have had friends read all of my online profiles. There are no spelling mistakes and I think who I am comes across. However, I'll be honest I don't really care all that much about it. There are some things that I think should be done offline and dating is one of them. I think that all this online dating has taken away from what dating actually is. All this hooking up and options and empowerment and choice has left us unable to some extent to choose to date one person. I would love to meet a guy and I will not be doing this online. I will meet this person some how. I know that but it will not be after I have exchanged a million emails and had a phone conversation with someone.

So, for now I am getting on with it. I'm trying to figure out how exactly one dates without the trappings of the Internet and what I want my dating life to look like. This journey should be an interesting one. I will be courted. Is that even possible anymore?