Saturday, August 21, 2010

What I Want

I constantly say that I am done with dating. That is not true I am not done with dating what I am done with is how we date today. I want to be courted. I want what my grandparents and my mom and stepfather have. I don't think this is old fashioned. I don't think it is a crazy thing to ask for. I think that it is something that all people should want. It is a little mission of mine to bring back dating. Real dating where the people are chaste and it makes the coming together all that more great.

This being said I know I am not going to find my future guy online. I have learned this. I am not going to meet him at a bar either. I should say the online thing I'm sure about. I haven't really ruled out the bar thing. I just know that I would like to meet someone at some point in an organic way. In a way where they actually have to talk to me. Where when they have had enough of me or I've had enough of them we know we have to have a conversation not an email or a text dismissing the other person. I want an organic relationship one that happens one that is not forced one that I fall into. I am not pursuing anyone at the moment. I want to meet my best friend and if we start as friends even better. I don't want to start dating someone because that is what we are suppose to do.

I had this long talk with a friend last night and she kept saying "You so want a boyfriend." I kept saying "No, I don't so want a boyfriend." It is just something everyone talks about all the time. My girlfriends and I are constantly talking about the latest guy. I don't know how to change this. It is like the pursuit of getting a guy is what we have become. It is rather tedious. I've learned that it really isn't worth talking this all out all the time. Rather it is nice to just know what you want and be you. Then just live it. I'm working on it and trusting that what is suppose to happen will happen.

Life is a learning experience and it is a fun ride. I make mistakes but I learn from them and I'm making a home for myself here in the city finally. It's nice to feel like I am finally figuring things out and nice to start feeling at home in my own skin. This is what I'm learning.

2 comments:

  1. I think it's natural to talk about the latest guy...because it's natural to want to talk about that giddy feeling you get when you meet someone new and there is possibility! I do think it's an important lesson though than when the talk stops being about how great he is but on to "what is he doing, I don't understand what he's thinking!" ... RED FLAGS.

    You're right, you don't want a boyfriend, you want a life partner (CHEESE ALERT)...

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  2. If there was a guy we were talking about I would agree with this. However, my friends and I pretty much just sit around talking about how we are not in relationships and nothing else. I can't wait to sit around talking about how wonderful my boy is...

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