Want Vs. Need

I have come to the conclusion that I may actually want a boyfriend. I think that before now I felt like I needed a boyfriend. This is not true. This isn't even remotely true. I do not need a boyfriend. I can do everything I have been doing and be happy all by myself. I think that I lost track of that a couple years back and felt that I needed a boyfriend to make everything make sense.

I now know that boyfriends do not really do that even a little bit. Going into a relationship is hard work. If anything it complicates life. Why do you need that? Being in a relationship is something you should want. You shouldn't ever need another person to make your life complete ever.

What I have decided I want isn't anything serious. I want to be someone's something, but not their everything. I would like that person to be my something, but not my everything. Just someone to sit around with on a rainy day and watch bad movies. I want to feel that connection with a guy. I want to feel wanted not just for a hot second, but for a while. It doesn't have to be forever, but just to know that there is someone out there that would like to see me more then once a week. Who likes my company and wants to know what I have to say.

I don't need these things. My life is going fairly great right now. I've made some decisions on what I want to do and have been making new friends. I'm getting a raise next month and I got healthy insurance. A boyfriend or whatever it is that comes into my life is not going to make any of these things better or worst. It will be it's own thing.

Before I was going into every date/interaction with a guy like this would be it. This guy would make everything better. He is just what I'm looking for. This guy will make everything better. I believe we are taught this growing up. We meet someone and they complete us and we have nothing else to worry about. When we have found that person that will provide for us and us for them then life is just easy. This is a little bit of a fairytale and really just not worth it. If you can't be a complete person on your own why would you be good for anyone?

I'm not sure what has changed. I just know that I don't need anything anymore. You know that feels great.