I'm In Love!! :)

I'm in love really and truly and very happy about it. I'm in love with one of the most fantastic people ever and it actually surprised me. Before you get ahead of yourself and think, "Whoa did I miss something," let me fill you in. I'm in love with me. This was a revelation I had yesterday. It may sound narcissistic, but it's not really. I mean most of us are in love with ourselves. There is even that cliche, "if you can't love yourself then how can anyone else?"

So, I'm happy to say I am in love with someone and that someone is me. It has been a long journey and a difficult relationship. I have been constantly fighting the happy feelings within and making myself fairly miserable by living up to someone else's standards. I have given up on that. I realized I'm amazing and really truly believe this. This doesn't mean there are things that I can't improve on, but being happy with myself and loving myself is really the first step to becoming the person I am meant to be. I have been defining myself for so long as something that other people wanted me to be. I have been trying to fit into this mold of what people want. I realized when I had this revaluation is that it isn't worth fighting who you are. There is no perfect way to be. You just really need to be happy and somehow you will muddle through the rest of it.

Another person's writing actually spurred this post. It was the wonderful Decoybetty while guest posting for Hooking Up Smart. This post just reaffirmed my belief in what I have been feeling for the last few days. This sense of not really caring how others define me, but rather how I define myself. If people look at me as single and whatever it doesn't matter. I am who I am and I am doing what is right for me so to heck with all that stuff. My life is amazing and will be amazing and maybe it is a little tough sometime, but I love it.

Sorry for the radio silence

Hi all I'm tired. I am bone tired. I had a little too much fun yesterday and now I'm paying for it. I remember when I use to be able to go out and not feel dead the next day. Could I be getting old?

I am writing a brief recap of Halloween boy and then going to sleep. I'll write more this week when I have 5 blissful days in Maine and nothing to do. Anyways Halloween boy was cuter then I remembered and we had a coffee. Then he asked if I wanted to go walk to the park. We went to the Washington Square Park and he picked a park bench for us to sit on. We chatted a bit and then he made his move. We were sitting in the park and he just kind of gave me this look and then kissed me. It was nice and I knew it was coming. I don't know though. I haven't really heard from him since. At least I can check making out in Washington Square Park of my bucket list. ;)

Megs Life At The Moment

I have been thinking about what to post on here for a few days. There are many things to post about. Some are events other just thoughts, so tuck in for the long haul of Megs life at the moment.

I will start with talking about Subway boy. Who is off to Brazil never to be heard from again. I am so ok with this. He was just strange. I was telling my mother about him and she said "he sounds like Kramer." She is totally right. He is so random. I think I was flattered by the fact that this really attractive guy wanted to go on a date with me. He is by far the most attractive person I have ever meet, but the interesting thing is that, though, he was very physically attractive I didn't find him all that attractive after we had our date or whatever it was. He is too strange and to anti establishment and too bitter but pretending not to be for me. So I guess I'm glad he is off to Brazil. Maybe when he comes back we will be friends, but I'm guessing that is the last I'll hear from Subway boy. He may meet up with my friend when he is in Brazil so it might not be hear of him.

The other dating life event that is going on is that I have a date with Halloween guy on Thursday. I am actually impressed that we are meeting. I thought that we would perhaps have that well he was a nice guy but... moment. This will be a first for me. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not sure if my heart is really in it. My best friend tells me to look at it as if it is a job interview and the guy is there to apply for the job of hanging out with me. I like this idea.

That is what is going on in my dating life. This then brings me to my second topic of the blog for today. I started this blog as a dating life blog and for the most part that is what it has been. However, it seems that through focusing on dating I kind of stopped focusing on dating. It just is such a boring thing to focus on. I started doing things for me. I got off line and I just stopped caring about all that stuff that goes with finding someone. There are people out there that say that you should make finding someone a full time job. Why do people say that? I mean shouldn't your full time job be making yourself the most awesome person? Focusing all your energy on finding a person is not ok. There is so much you miss out on when you do this. Anyways that is where my head is at the moment.

The last thing that is going on in my life at the moment is the career thing. I'm still trying to figure this out. I am thinking of taking a cooking class and see if I like that. I'm not sure what to do. My dream of dreams is to go to cooking school and start a culinary career. I'm just so utterly afraid of failure at this one thing I want to do that I keep almost doing it and stopping. We'll see what happens. I don't really want to live my life with regrets anymore so I guess to be true to myself I need to do this.

Anyways that is what my life is like at them moment. Stay tuned to hear about Halloween boy.

Baffled

Who knew that such a simple Halloween costume would be so awesome. I was a shot in the dark. I had an amazing Halloween. It was one of those nights where everything just fell into place. I went completely out of my comfort zone and ended up in Brooklyn with my friend. It was probably one of the top 10 nights I've had in NYC.

The most memorable moment is when I went to leave a guy followed me out of the bar to make sure he got my number. This never happens to me. Guys do not ask for my number, nor do they follow me out of bars in order to do this. He was sweet, but not really my type. I gave him my number and he has been texting me. I think we will be meeting for coffee next week. I feel bad, but I want to go to the gym and have made plans on Saturday and Friday.

It is interesting because a few months ago I would have been all about going on dates. I can't believe that in one week I meet two guys who got my number and texted me less then 12 hours after meeting them. It is great. I just don't think I really want to be dating. Is this weird? I'll go on dates if they present themselves, but honestly it is just tiring and confuses me and I'm trying to figure a bunch of other stuff out in my life. I guess as always I'm just a little baffled by everything. As always life is surprising me.

Question, So many Questions

I had tea today with Subway boy. It was interesting. I have no idea if it was a date. I am not sure if I like him in the wow he makes me swoon way and he is going to Brazil for who knows how long on the 12th. I know that I relate to him in a lot of ways. I give him a lot of credit for how he is living his life. He seems to be very similar to me, but with that charisma that comes with being a star athlete. However, he seems a little lost. I think that perhaps he is coming to terms with the idea that life doesn't always go exactly as planned, and that realization that dreams change.

I think I like him in the way that I found a kindred soul. A person that lives life and ask no questions. Is just trying to figure it all out. He is sweet and a little innocent in the not innocent way. Who knows. I thought having coffee with someone was suppose to answer questions not create more.