There are many things that I am about to be embarking on. I usually am not that afraid of starting new projects. However, I usually start projects that I'm only about 70-80% passionate about and that I am either fairly sure I will either be successful at it or not really care if I'm not. Part of this is that I'm terified to do what I really want to do and fail at it. Yet, in this day and age it seems like just being eh about what you do isn't really all that great. I made a vow to myself that if I ever looked miserable when I was going to work then I would not do that anymore. Well I guess the time has come to put my passion to work for me. I'm keeping semi mum about what I will be doing because well I don't want anyone stealing my idea and I don't want to jinx myself.
The other jump I want to address is the one that comes from my over analysis of things. Erik made an excellent points with his comment about putting yourself out there. Taking action instead of just sitting and hoping the other person will make the first move or get the hint. The only problem is that I think we all have a crippling fear of rejection. I would like to say I will take this plunge and tell the person I currently like that I like him instead of playing games. However, I don't want to hear the words "I am just not ready" or "I don't feel the same way, but you are a great girl." I know this is a cowardly thing to do and I'll never really find what I'm looking for in a personal relationship if I don't put myself out there like this. Who knows if I move closer maybe I will put myself out there, but for now I'm just going to occasionally remind him I exist. When the time is right I'll take the plunge, and hopefully the timing will be right soon. If not I guess I'll have learned my lesson and say to heck with timing on the next one.
First, nice new header!
ReplyDeleteErik is right, in a logical boy way who must not read enough blogs to know that girls analyze everything to death and then make decisions. That's why we go to the bathroom together, to talk about the guys we've left behind at the table!
I think you should give him another try if you move there, so long as you're not moving there *just* to give him another try :).
If he likes you as much as you like him, he'll be available if you let him know that you're interested!
Aura thanks. Yes the boy perspective is great. Eric knows my problem isn't the analyzes per se but the taking action. I know the most logical thing is to just come out with the I like you but as I say crippling fear of rejection (I know lots of people have that). If I do move back it would not be just for him. I have never ever done anything for a boy and don't plan on starting now. I would only do that for a sure thing.
ReplyDeleteHmm...Erik is smart and all (that's why I married him), but as a girl I really believe that over analysis is the basis of any awesome fake or real relationship. It's fun to talk excessively about the guy you like and what his "hello" sounded like and if it could mean that he wants to be your boyfriend. We've been doing this since we were in 2nd grade, why would we stop now?
ReplyDeleteHowever, there does come a point when you have to chuck your fear out of the window and take the plunge. Rejection sucks, but so does analyzing texts for 6 months and being hung up on a guy that doesn't realize your feelings. I say analyze this thing for a while (because it makes you feel good to do so) and then when you get here either pony up or shut up.
I am looking forward to seeing you happy & fulfilled in life and career.
Claire I think you are very very right. I may just like the attention. We will see what happens when I eventually am in DC. For now I am happily enjoying the strange whatever relationship we are having at the moment.
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