I'm going to be writing two post today. I'm on vacation and just ran a sticky sweaty awesome 5 mile run and had two post pop into my head. One will be on dating and the other is this one. It's just about figuring out life and being me. I'm feeling fairly good about things even though in reality my life is falling apart in many ways. I'm kind of just letting it. If that makes sense. I'm figuring it out piece by piece, but letting go of holding on too tightly. I'm happy and it will work itself out and if occasionally I slip up and forget that things happen for a reason and there is little power you have over lots of things. You really just need to be yourself and be happy with yourself.
As I was running today I was just thinking about things that make me happy. I moved to NYC 4 years ago. It kind of shocks me that it has been that long. I have been so focused on the failure of not having recieved my master and working as a nanny that I forget to look at what I have achieved. I may be up to my ears in debt I cannot pay, but I have figured a lot of things out. I have lost over 80lbs in the last 4 years. I came to NYC the heaviest I have ever been. I am at the moment the thinnest I have ever been as an adult and running marathons. I am healthier then I have ever been and can look at myself in the mirror and be happy most of the time. I don't think food is the answer anymore and that isn't where happiness is. It is wonderful.
I figured this much out and I'm working on figuring some other stuff out, but I'm just happy. I''m thrilled to be who I am and where I am. I may feel stuck and I may feel that nothing is going my way from time to time, but when I run and really look at myself is that who I am is great. That is a nice thing to remember.
Well done Meg! You can be proud of yourself for what you've achieved. We don't always get to where we think we should in life, but the important thing is that we keep on moving forwards and keep learning.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it just great when you have one of those epiphany moments when you realise "hey, I'm happy!"? We're always so busy thinking what we should be doing or feeling or achieving that we forget to enjoy the moment and give ourselves a pat on the back for all the stuff we've accomplished.
Keep on going!
T
x
Thanks! I'm trying to live in the moment... Epiphanies are wonderful. That is why I run actually.
ReplyDeleteProud! And jealous a little bit - you may not realise it, but your NYC / WA DC life is a bit exciting from the outside. You may have boy troubles, but you still have boy interactions :) You travel, and obviously have amazing friends and you can run 5K! That's awesome! It's way too easy to take the good things for granted, but remembering the good things is like a little unexpected surprise.
ReplyDeletePS. Your blog is also one of my favourites :)
Aura,
ReplyDeleteThanks. I sometimes forget how much fun living in these cities is. I have to get away from it all every once and a while. I'm excited this week is my vacation and I'll have no phone and no computer. I am going to unplug and try to forget my boy interaction. It's gonna be awesome!!