Sunday, June 27, 2010

Why I Hate The Phone

I meet someone and all my insecurities are coming up. We are both busy people and well we only get together if we both seem to be going out. Then we proceed to hang out for the day. Then I don't hear from him. I don't know what to do. It isn't that he doesn't show interest, but there seems to be something going on and I don't know.

Anyways this post is about why I hate phones. I hate phones because they bring up all this stuff that has to do with my dad. I can't handle not hearing from someone. Not knowing when I will see this guy again is driving me cray and I called him. He was at church so couldn't talk. It's been two hours now. No way he is still at church. I can't say hey it isn't that I am needy and have to see you but all these weird feelings come up when I don't know what is going to happen. I spent my life being marginalized by a guy and I can't handle this. I can't like you. It makes me crazy. Everything is going great if I could just let things go and not have this need to know when I will see him again. I hate the phone because it is the pretty much the symbol of all of this and for a tiny little things brings up all my insecurities.

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