Is this week over?

Well I just have to say that this has been by far one of the longest weeks of my life. How is it that though each week is the exact same amount of time one can feel longer then the other? I just don't get it. Nothing is going badly just nothing is going great. I'm in this super funk and I just can't get out of it. I don't know if it is because I had such a good time in Maine or if it is because I feel trapped in a job that is going nowhere quickly. I guess I just feel like at 26 I thought I would have a lot more going for me.

First of all, I realize I have been kind of doom and gloom all week. I am in general an upbeat, happy, look at the bright side of things person. However, I just am like so ick right now. I guess that makes me want to talk valley girl. I like just don't know what to do. I'm trying to figure out my next move. Should I stay in NYC? Should I move to Maine/NH? Should I just flee the country all together? What the heck do I want to do? Should I finish that masters degree I just can't stand? Ugh....

I'm not sure how I ever even thought I could start a relationship with someone when I am so obviously in flux at the moment. I also have to say I am 100% ok with the non relationship status of my life. I feel like I have to keep saying that to people. Is it because I was so focused on getting said relationship? I realized for the past year or so I have been talking about little else besides getting a guy, once found talking about said guy, and once dumped talking/thinking about said guy for another few months. What the heck happened to me? I was so not that girl three years ago and I am so never going to be this girl again.

So, I have to stop myself from talking just about guys or said losers that I have seen in the past year. I'm done with it. It is a waste of energy. I have hidden my profile on Match and vowed not to set foot on that site for at least two years. I also have joined a kickball league, am starting to go back to my meetups, hopefully starting yoga and going to the gym. My goal is by the end of 2009 to be at my goal weight 150 (only 25 left of about 100) and to have started a job that will lead to a career. This is now out there and thus, means it will be done. I don't want to disappoint.

I have stated taking steps on the career thing. I have found jobs I want to apply to. I bought a book about how to find jobs and get interviews. I know face a problem, however, as Amazing Guy would be a really excellent contact/networking person for me. He has sent me some links in the past, but that was before I super screwed up and sent him that email. I'm just wondering if I email him asking him if he knows anyone in any of the organizations I'm applying to if that is a bad thing. I think I know my answer is don't email him. It would be stupid. If I even think that I'm emailing him for any other reason other then job search related I shouldn't. I'm almost 100% sure he is seeing someone else and I know I made an ass of myself last time I contacted him so that should be that... Oh why can't I just let things go... and so the longest week continues and I still feel in limbo about pretty much everything.